Subject: Jane White

Jane’s answers got me thinking about the past. I really like the question about going back in time and changing one thing because it causes so many people to stop and think—it is the question I most often have to come back to because people need so much time to consider it. But Jane was able to answer it immediately and I could really relate to her answer because sometimes the smallest moments mean the most. Does that English teacher ever think of that time he asked the question about a sheep? No, most likely. But so many years later, it’s still a defining moment for Jane. But isn’t that what life is all about, small moments that may seem insignificant at the time but that truly make us who we are? I think so, which is why it’s so important to make the most of every moment—it’s usually only with hindsight that the significance emerges.

Q: What is the quality you most admire in other people?

A: Integrity. And the ability to go for your dream, to do what you want, to actually achieve a dream or a goal. Dreams are really hard to have come true and I like the passion people show for achieving them.

Q: If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

A: It was in my high school English class and my teacher asked what a female sheep was called and I knew the answer but no one else raised their hand and I was convinced the answer was “ewe” and when the teacher said it, it bugged me that I didn’t have a little more faith in myself. I would have raised my hand. It haunts me.

Q: Who are/have been the most influential people in your life?

A: My dad—I think he embodied the qualities I look for: respect for others, integrity. He was passionate about his field of study.

Q: What are you looking forward to?

A: Dinner with friends tonight.

Q: What is the biggest mistake you ever made and were you able to fix it?

A: Breaking up with my boyfriend Tom in college and no, I was never able to fix it.

Q: What is your greatest accomplishment so far?

A: I think taking care of my dad when he was sick, I’m most proud of that.

Q: Best advice you’ve ever received? Worst advice?

A: Best advice: Believe in yourself. I aced my oral comps for English lit, but I was not the best student and the teacher said, even though you might not think you’re the best, you should always believe in yourself.

Worst advice: Kill them with kindness, that was from my dad. I do it but I think anger sometimes has its place. Anger was not an emotion that was expressed in the White household.

Q: If you could get an all-expenses paid trip anywhere in the world where would you go?

A: Greece, hands down. I like the Greek mythology and I’d like to see those places.

Q: Who is on your celebrity list (the one that includes any celebrity that your partner gives you a “pass” on sleeping with if the opportunity ever arose)?

A: John Brion, musician.

Q: What is the political issue you care about most right now?

A: Health care, everyone should have it. Or at least to give an affordable option.

Q: Most useful technological advance in the last 50 years? Least useful?

A: Most useful: Pay-at-the-pump. Least useful: the scanner at the grocery store, it never works!

Q: Worst/funniest date story?

A: My musician boyfriend picked me up from the airport and we went to dinner and he paid with a coupon. He had a gift certificate! And he was proud of it. He told everyone and his brother was horrified.

It was way too early in the relationship for that.

Subject: Holt Gardiner

Happy Valentine’s Day and in honor of that, here’s my interview with my valentine! Holt’s answers made me think about advice. We all need the help of others, so of course, we’ve all asked for, and been asked, advice. Did it help? Did it hurt? Sometimes you don’t realize what good (or bad) advice is until many years later—which is why I wanted to ask the question about it. Personally, I’ve tried to stop giving advice because it’s so rarely taken by the people who ask for it in the first place. And then it’s just bad form to say “I told you so” after the fact.

Q: What is the quality you most admire in other people?

A: Loyalty. To one’s family and friends, to your words, to what you have created as your goals in life, and most importantly, to your ideals and ethics. In the past, I have fallen into the trap of being loyal to myself only superficially. I’m trying to be better now. Sometimes, I have let myself delude myself into believing my own hype: that I am doing the best I can while I am just going through the motions, not truly doing the most I can, and then complaining that the results aren’t what I deserve. That is a very dangerous recipe. Unfortunately, living in LA, in which the whole culture and environment is based on smoke and mirrors, it is disturbingly easy to fall into the trap of deceiving yourself.

Q: If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

A: In my 20’s, I would have focused more on extending successes business wise, and expanding upon that base more aggressively, rather than taking it for granted. Cycles always end and, especially with an education as an economist, I should have given more attention to the future and less on the present.

Q: Who are/have been the most influential people in your life?

A: Definitely my father. For many years I tried to compete with him by taking a very different approach to success. I didn’t always appreciate his focus on more risk-averse decision-making, as I was lucky enough to grow up in a time of unprecedented security and economic growth, and I always thought that he didn’t capitalize on all his opportunities, or maximize his economic success. It is very easy in hindsight to realize how stupid the young are, and I see myself becoming much more like him every day.

The second person is Bob Hellman, my first long term boss, and someone I still consider my most influential mentor. He showed me that the business of finance and private equity can comfortably co-exist with ethics and integrity; two qualities that I try to uphold every day.

Q: What are you looking forward to?

A: Going to the Master’s (golf) with my dad in April, which has been a dream of mine for many years. He was kind enough to dramatically surprise me on my 40^th birthday with a father/son trip and tickets, which should be fantastic. We might even sneak in a round of golf in which I might finally beat him for the first time.

Q: What is the biggest mistake you ever made and were you able to fix it?

A: Deluding myself into believing I was smart enough to beat Las Vegas casinos over the long term. I was able to fix it because I don’t gamble any more!

Q: What is your greatest accomplishment so far?

A: Being in a position to help a number of my clients, some of whom are my best friends, successfully sell their businesses and create tremendous security for their families and partners.

Q: Best advice you’ve ever received? Worst advice?

A: Best: my Mom once told me that in order to get through times which seem overwhelming due to very tough issues coming at you from seemingly all directions, to put each issue in a box and only open one box at a time. That thought process has helped me manage in some very challenging situations.

Worst: That you should never stop trying, regardless of what other people say. I get it, and it sounds nice in concept. I strongly believe in following your dreams, and being dogged in whatever you are trying to accomplish, but too many times I have seen people pursue dreams or ideas are just not going to happen and are doomed to failure, and destroy themselves as a result. Sometimes, it becomes evident pretty quickly that an idea is just bad, or that you are just not cut out for a certain job, relationship or whatever. It is important to balance your passion and ideas with counsel and listen to what other people have to say, especially if they are people whose opinion and experience you respect.

Q: If you could get an all-expenses paid trip anywhere in the world where would you go?

A: I am a rabid supporter of the Duke University basketball team, my alma mater, so I guess, to whatever city is hosting when Duke is hopefully once again playing in the Final Four. With courtside seats.

I would also like to go to the Maldives and lie on the beach for 2 weeks, but that would be even to a freezing weekend in Detroit to see Duke back in the Final Four.

Q: Who is on your celebrity list (the one that includes any celebrity that your partner gives you a “pass” on sleeping with if the opportunity ever arose)?

A: Olivia Wilde, Diane Lane and Heidi Klum. Not sure if I am allowed that many.

Q: What is the political issue you care about most right now?

A: What I believe to be the disastrous economic policies being followed by the current U.S. administration. I am very concerned that the belief in massive government spending, the concurrent desire to dramatically raise taxes, combined with the sense of entitlement that I believe pervades the United States today, will continue to destroy the foundations of what made this country so great and successful. Coming from the UK, which had a similar environment and economic focus in the 1970’s, the results of which were disastrous to the country, I have an unpleasant sense of déjà vu.

Q: Most useful technological advance in the last 50 years? Least useful?

A: The ongoing development of Information technology and the Internet is, I think, the most important technological and social change in a lot longer than that —it allows ready answers to any question you could ever have and has changed everything, and democratizes the transfer of information.

Least useful: the Flowbie. I actually used it once in college and it gave me a really bad haircut.

Q: Worst/funniest date story?

A: I was on a double date with a friend of mine and this woman he was trying to hit on. We all got stuck in their townhouse when a hurricane hit Wilmington, North Carolina and we couldn’t leave for 4 days. It was the worst, longest bad date of all time. No power, no food and no power and only Victoria’s Secret catalogues for reading. By candlelight.

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight?

A: Yes, although I believe in it as a leap of faith, as I am a bit of a romantic, and not based on objective reality or my experiences.

Subject: Dagmar O'Brien

In honor of my Mom’s birthday (today), I am posting her interview! Happy birthday, Mom!

Her answers got me thinking about Manifest Destiny. I remember learning that term in school, I think it was in relation to Lewis & Clark and their expedition out west. At the time, I was bored. But in doing these interviews and learning the story behind what makes people who they are today, I get really excited because I think people are living out their own versions of Manifest Destiny. I am surprised and impressed by the amount of people who have left everything they knew to forge a new life, a new adventure. I think that’s what Manifest Destiny is all about—not feeling hemmed in by where or how you grew up, but taking your adult life and making it into something great. Our forefathers should be proud.

Q: What is the biggest difference between the country you were born in (Sweden) and America?

A: Here they’ve got soul. In Sweden, they don’t. I think they’ve lost their soul, if you’re not patriotic, if you don’t love what the country stands for, if your heart doesn’t beat for your country, you’ve got a problem. That’s why I love soldiers, they take an oath. I do this for my country.

Q: What do you know now that you wish you knew at a younger age?

A: I know now that you don’t have an unlimited amount of time. When you’re younger, you think you’ve got the rest of your life but then all of a sudden, the rest of your life is getting shorter and shorter. It’s very easy to do nothing with your life, just float. But you also can’t go full blast all the time. If you light your candle at both ends, all of a sudden the candle is burned out. But when you get older, if you don’t have the strength to do certain things, you’re hopefully smarter, so you don’t get excited about things that aren’t worth it.

Q: What’s your worst/funniest date?

A: We were going out in groups when I was younger and I thought I was never going to get married. I met a guy (your dad) at the Tip Toppers (club for tall people)—he asked me if I wanted to go to a baseball game and I said sure. So he took me to a baseball game and it was the most boring thing ever. I didn’t understand why the guy didn’t even swing at the balls, how would they ever hit it if they didn’t swing? We have a similar game in Sweden but it’s much simpler. Seventh inning stretch? I didn’t get it.

But it was a different time back then. We used to go to this bar and sit and talk to people. One guy could whistle the blues! After we got married we went in there and that guy as still there. People were just there to sit and talk, the bartender knew everyone and everyone talked to each other. It was great.

Q: If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

A: My dad read books about history and politics and I wish I had talked to him more about that subject. Now none of my family is interested in that stuff except me so I don’t have anyone to talk to about those things.

He was conservative—he was a self made man and I think he would have liked it here in America. He took responsibility for the family. My mom had us 6 kids and she signed up for all the free stuff for kids, but my dad always said, we can afford to pay, we don’t need help from the government.

Q: Who are/have been the most influential people in your life?

A: My family growing up. We had relatives all over the place—uncles and aunts, they kept track of us. We had relatives on every street! For the most part it was a good thing— you felt security, you were rooted. The bad thing, of course, was that there wasn’t anything you did that didn’t get back to your parents.

Q: What is the biggest mistake you ever made and were you able to fix it?

A: I was very obstinate, probably should have not have been so outspoken to my mother. I was the middle child of 6 so I thought I would be the peacemaker, solve things. I put my nose in everything (and still do) but I did it to be nice! I got punished a lot but there’s nothing I regretted.

Q: What are you looking forward to?

A: I would like to go to Hillsdale College and take a course for retired people—you can take a course in government. I would like to go to Branson, Missouri to see some sights. History is very interesting. American history and history period.

Q: What are you reading?

A: Sarah Palin’s book, I like that. Conservative stuff. I love the politics in this country, love it! I was not into politics in Sweden at all because it’s a socialistic country and they think they have no input—the government knows everything. And if you’re right in the middle of it, you dont know. When I met your dad, he told me, this is a country of freedom! Freedom here is totally different. This country is unique. You have got a say—you are born free and you have a lot of rights as an individual. You are allowed to make mistakes—like if you have no insurance, well, then you have to pay for it. In Sweden, you are insured by law, there are no consequences because government is behind you. You can blame the government—I can’t do anything because this is the way it is. I was born to be in this country. But here, I can say whatever I want, I can change things.

Q: What do you think is your greatest accomplishment so far?

A: That I made it in this country—I moved here and I was just going to visit. I was a career woman in Sweden, I came here and started from nothing. But then I was lucky to meet your dad.

Q: Best advice you’ve ever received? Worst?

A: Best advice came from your dad: never give up. You go and ask questions and you keep going until you get the answer you want. That’s an American thing.

The worst advice is when friends and relatives told me I shouldn’t try to become a pharmacist because my grades weren’t good enough and they said I would never get in. When someone tells me I can’t do something, it spurs me on.

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight?

A: No. What is it that you love? You can fall in love with looks but you don’t know them. Love is something that happens when you know them. Sexual desire is one thing, good-looking people are not always that good. Looks have very little to do with love. Love is give and take.

Q: What is the most exciting technical advancement of the last 50 years? Least exciting?

A: Cell phones are the worst—kids all over the world, don’t see flowers, don’t see people, they have a thing in their ear. It’s a total waste. I think why are you here? Cell phones are good to tell people when you’re going to be there but life isn’t long enough for you to spend a lot of time with a phone in your ear. Life is going by and you’ve still got the phone in your ear.

I think that we’re missing the boat, we’re getting away from nature, we’re getting so technically involved. Kids have no fantasy, no hobbies. Spend time with kids, listen to them. The Wii—now you don’t even have to go out and play!

I am still very impressed by farmers, they’re close to nature. They lift hay bales, they do things, figure out all kinds of problems that have to do with crops, slaughtering animals, how you make food, how you go from one place to another, practical things. They have to make do, they have to learn.