Happy Valentine’s Day and in honor of that, here’s my interview with my valentine! Holt’s answers made me think about advice. We all need the help of others, so of course, we’ve all asked for, and been asked, advice. Did it help? Did it hurt? Sometimes you don’t realize what good (or bad) advice is until many years later—which is why I wanted to ask the question about it. Personally, I’ve tried to stop giving advice because it’s so rarely taken by the people who ask for it in the first place. And then it’s just bad form to say “I told you so” after the fact.
Q: What is the quality you most admire in other people?
A: Loyalty. To one’s family and friends, to your words, to what you have created as your goals in life, and most importantly, to your ideals and ethics. In the past, I have fallen into the trap of being loyal to myself only superficially. I’m trying to be better now. Sometimes, I have let myself delude myself into believing my own hype: that I am doing the best I can while I am just going through the motions, not truly doing the most I can, and then complaining that the results aren’t what I deserve. That is a very dangerous recipe. Unfortunately, living in LA, in which the whole culture and environment is based on smoke and mirrors, it is disturbingly easy to fall into the trap of deceiving yourself.
Q: If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
A: In my 20’s, I would have focused more on extending successes business wise, and expanding upon that base more aggressively, rather than taking it for granted. Cycles always end and, especially with an education as an economist, I should have given more attention to the future and less on the present.
Q: Who are/have been the most influential people in your life?
A: Definitely my father. For many years I tried to compete with him by taking a very different approach to success. I didn’t always appreciate his focus on more risk-averse decision-making, as I was lucky enough to grow up in a time of unprecedented security and economic growth, and I always thought that he didn’t capitalize on all his opportunities, or maximize his economic success. It is very easy in hindsight to realize how stupid the young are, and I see myself becoming much more like him every day.
The second person is Bob Hellman, my first long term boss, and someone I still consider my most influential mentor. He showed me that the business of finance and private equity can comfortably co-exist with ethics and integrity; two qualities that I try to uphold every day.
Q: What are you looking forward to?
A: Going to the Master’s (golf) with my dad in April, which has been a dream of mine for many years. He was kind enough to dramatically surprise me on my 40th birthday with a father/son trip and tickets, which should be fantastic. We might even sneak in a round of golf in which I might finally beat him for the first time.
Q: What is the biggest mistake you ever made and were you able to fix it?
A: Deluding myself into believing I was smart enough to beat Las Vegas casinos over the long term. I was able to fix it because I don’t gamble any more!
Q: What is your greatest accomplishment so far?
A: Being in a position to help a number of my clients, some of whom are my best friends, successfully sell their businesses and create tremendous security for their families and partners.
Q: Best advice you’ve ever received? Worst advice?
A: Best: my Mom once told me that in order to get through times which seem overwhelming due to very tough issues coming at you from seemingly all directions, to put each issue in a box and only open one box at a time. That thought process has helped me manage in some very challenging situations.
Worst: That you should never stop trying, regardless of what other people say. I get it, and it sounds nice in concept. I strongly believe in following your dreams, and being dogged in whatever you are trying to accomplish, but too many times I have seen people pursue dreams or ideas are just not going to happen and are doomed to failure, and destroy themselves as a result. Sometimes, it becomes evident pretty quickly that an idea is just bad, or that you are just not cut out for a certain job, relationship or whatever. It is important to balance your passion and ideas with counsel and listen to what other people have to say, especially if they are people whose opinion and experience you respect.
Q: If you could get an all-expenses paid trip anywhere in the world where would you go?
A: I am a rabid supporter of the Duke University basketball team, my alma mater, so I guess, to whatever city is hosting when Duke is hopefully once again playing in the Final Four. With courtside seats.
I would also like to go to the Maldives and lie on the beach for 2 weeks, but that would be even to a freezing weekend in Detroit to see Duke back in the Final Four.
Q: Who is on your celebrity list (the one that includes any celebrity that your partner gives you a “pass” on sleeping with if the opportunity ever arose)?
A: Olivia Wilde, Diane Lane and Heidi Klum. Not sure if I am allowed that many.
Q: What is the political issue you care about most right now?
A: What I believe to be the disastrous economic policies being followed by the current U.S. administration. I am very concerned that the belief in massive government spending, the concurrent desire to dramatically raise taxes, combined with the sense of entitlement that I believe pervades the United States today, will continue to destroy the foundations of what made this country so great and successful. Coming from the UK, which had a similar environment and economic focus in the 1970’s, the results of which were disastrous to the country, I have an unpleasant sense of déjà vu.
Q: Most useful technological advance in the last 50 years? Least useful?
A: The ongoing development of Information technology and the Internet is, I think, the most important technological and social change in a lot longer than that —it allows ready answers to any question you could ever have and has changed everything, and democratizes the transfer of information.
Least useful: the Flowbie. I actually used it once in college and it gave me a really bad haircut.
Q: Worst/funniest date story?
A: I was on a double date with a friend of mine and this woman he was trying to hit on. We all got stuck in their townhouse when a hurricane hit Wilmington, North Carolina and we couldn’t leave for 4 days. It was the worst, longest bad date of all time. No power, no food and no power and only Victoria’s Secret catalogues for reading. By candlelight.
Q: Do you believe in love at first sight?
A: Yes, although I believe in it as a leap of faith, as I am a bit of a romantic, and not based on objective reality or my experiences.
Fantastic blog piece
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