Subject: Kashmira Gandhi

Talking to Kashmira got me thinking about responsibility. Volunteerism has gotten a lot of press since our President was elected—it is one of the few issues that typically gets bipartisan support—but I wonder how many people really make “getting involved” a priority. To me, personal accountability means community accountability and anyone who has ever volunteered will tell you that you start out by thinking you will help someone else but really, they frequently end up helping you in a previously unforeseen way. It is also a very easy way to help you get focused on what is actually important in life because interacting with people who have very few material possessions but are nonetheless completely fulfilled gives you a very visceral reminder of your own worth. Kashmira has chosen a graduate field of study that will benefit others, but in doing so has also changed her own life, for the better.

Q: What’s your worst/funniest date story?

A: I was in college and I met this guy at a bar, I remember he was wearing a Bill Cosby sweater. He was good looking, a Med student. He asked me out to see a movie and he even picked me up at my apartment. We got to the movie about 30 minutes early and he asks me, “Do you want to see some pictures?” I said sure so he pulls out a 9 by 12 manila envelope full of photos: him as a baby, him as a child, him as a late teen/early 20s model (not a professional model, these looked like mall glamour shots). Longest thirty minutes of my life! I had just met him, I didn’t know him at all! He dropped me off and kissed me good night (the slobbery kind) and he called again but I didn’t go out with him a second time.

Q: If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

A: I wouldn’t change anything because I think everything happens in a connected way and very little things lead to other things in your life that lead to other things. It’s the butterfly effect, if you change one thing, you would change everything. Even though there’s tons of things I would actually change!

Q: Who are the most influential people in your life?

A: My mom and dad because they both represent really good people, really good morals. I’ve seen how they’ve been able to get through hard things in life and still be good, righteous people. And they’re really nice! And I like talking to them.

I had this boyfriend who wanted to go to college but he didn’t have the money and at the time, my dad decided he would loan the guy the money so he made a deal with the guy—made it clear that it wasn’t because he was his daughter’s boyfriend, it was that people had helped him when he first came to this country (from India) and he wanted to do the same for someone else. They had their own agreement and they guy paid back all the money over time, even after we broke up.

My dad told us to use what you have to help people and that was the best use of the money—it wasn’t making money and it was inconvenient, but it was making a difference.

Q: What is the biggest mistake you ever made and were you able to fix it?

A: I was about 4 and I started stealing gum from the drug store and I would give it to friends at preschool. I knew it was wrong because my parents had told me that stealing was bad and I would give out the gum under the stairs so no one would know.

It was winter and we were looking at a house that my parents wanted to buy and my mom reached into my coat and found a pack of gum. My mom asked me where it came from and I grabbed it and ran and hid the gum in the car and then went back inside with everyone. But my mom asked me again where I had gotten it and so I told her, “Strawberry Shortcake gave it to me!” I couldn’t believe she didn’t believe me! Obviously she knew I was lying and said, did you get it from our friends’ house last night and so I said yes, I took it from the friends’ house, which in retrospect is way worse! Then I cried for such a long time that everyone started trying to make me feel better. My mom said I had to call the friends and apologize but I kept avoiding it and finally I think my mom just told them about it. I didn’t tell my mom for many years that the gum actually came from the store.

Later in life when I was a teenager and everyone was shoplifting, I didn’t because I had so much guilt from that incident and learned my lesson with stealing. It was the first time in my life I experienced guilt and it’s a pretty terrible feeling. Horrible enough that I never did it again, even now I tell the waiter if they accidentally didn’t charge for a drink or something.

Q: What are you most looking forward to?

A: Graduating (with my Master’s) in May and moving to a warm climate! Having a family.

Q: Who is on your celebrity list (the one that includes any celebrity that your partner gives you a “pass” on sleeping with if the opportunity ever arose)?

A: Tom Brady.

Q: If you won 50 million dollars, what would you do with the money?

A: Go on vacation around the world and hit every continent, except Antarctica—I don’t have any desire to go there. #2: Pay off my parents’ house. #3: It’s boring, but I would invest some of it.

Q: What is your greatest accomplishment?

A: For my thesis, I was able to conduct interviews with women in Spanish and do my project on my own and get it funded and get new information.

I wanted my thesis research to be on something that dealt with poverty alleviation and women’s issues. So I decided to do interviews with women who work in artisan cooperatives in Mexico, specifically Oaxaca. In Oaxaca, a lot of the existing literature looks at women’s cooperatives as a means to empower women. But I wanted to study women’s gender roles in the community and see whether or not women’s cooperatives are a tool for creating long-term benefits in these communities.

In 2006, there were these protests that shut down the city for 6 months. But a lot of the women’s cooperatives rely on tourists to sell their goods, so my research question was, “What happened to these women when tourists stopped coming?” I worked with 4 women’s cooperatives (rug weaving, embroidery, potters, cotton weaving) and conducted 32 interviews in Spanish. I studied Spanish intensively for 6 months in Nicaragua last summer and took another year do it in grad school and now am conversational!

Q: Least favorite fashion trend of all time?

A: Leggings as pants. They’re fine as tights, under a dress, but as pants—no.

Q: Best advice you’ve ever received?

A: Try and enjoy all the moments of your life because life can easily fly by and sometimes when you realize that you didn’t enjoy something while you were there, it’s wasted. Everything can be replaced but time cannot.

Q: Worst advice?
A: What comes to mind actually happened to a friend—he didn’t get along with his boss and a co-worker who told him to go above his direct boss to the CEO of the company and complain. That did not work well and in retrospect was very bad advice! We all learned that it’s never a good idea to go above your boss’ head.